I stroll past Rolex, Prada, and Dior, their windows getting cleaned for a cost higher than it would be to feed the man slumped outside for a day… a week, even. The tags on the handbags behind the shiny glass mock him for his audacity to sit in their vicinity.
The smell of my pain au chocolat wiffs upwards, escaping the greasy brown bag to scent the air. My heart sinks as I realise I didn’t get him anything. The man, I mean. I noticed him on my way past earlier; head down and hunched over, avoiding eye contact but hoping — living — for the sound of humanity dropping its weight into his cup.
I went and got my hot drink and pastry and forgot about him. Just like most people do on the daily. Do I turn back? Find somewhere to buy a sandwich or soup or something? Or do I continue on because… well… my food’s getting cold and the sea is calling.
I walk through the square still thinking about it, heart and mind at war — but oh, I can see the glittering blue peeking from in between the buildings ahead.
To my right sits a McDonald’s, which I could get him, but… fuck that toxic shit. I look to my left to see a Lululemon, also toxic, in a different way. There’s an H&M beside it, toxic in another way again.
I sigh my disgust as if anyone around here cares about my opinion or the way we’re slowly being poisoned. Biological warefare isn’t reserved for enemies these days.
It would be so easy to lose faith in the world right about now. In fact, I think I may have started to already. A long time ago. And every new day leaches a bit more hope and respect I had for us as a species.
Anyway. I consume my breakfast by the water, search for the nearest coffee shop on my data-stealing, activity-tracking stalker app, and head off to find the man something to eat.
I wish the story ended there.
In my head, at the time, that’s that chapter done. Ending with the man boasting a full belly, life made a little more comfortable for a few hours by a kind stranger.
But after I’d walked back to the street that sold goods worth more than any average Joe can afford in this fucking economy, another man had sat down with his scarce belongings. And a woman a little further on. And another man on a bench, already tucked in and snoring: sleeping the day away, his life away. For the second time that morning my heart sank.
I can’t feed everyone.
So I turned away from the suffering and went about my day.
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